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34106 registered members; and growing!

As mentioned in Cosmopolitan magazine ("Cosmo")

Can you love more than one person at a time? So can we! (PMM) is about finding others who believe in ethical non-monogamy, open relationships, equality, freedom, choice, love, sexuality, sincerity, hope, trust, happiness, and especially Polyamory. For more information on different forms of Polyamory, check out our glossary page.

Do you identify with any of the following?
Poly Polyamorous Ethical Non-Monogamist Ethical Swinger Polyamorist Prefer not to self identify but feel that monogamy is too limiting

Do you believe in any of the following?
Poly Polyamory Ethical Non-Monogamy Ethical Swinging Open Honest Relationships Meaningful Multi-Partner Relationships Swinging with Emotional Connections Everyone should have to right to love who they want as long as all partners are consenting legal adults

If you identify or believe in any of these concepts - You are in the right place! has been serving the Poly & Ethical Non-Monogamous community for over a decade. With an incredible "organic" membership base, we offer a network of potential friends, dates, and partners all with similar goals; Ethical Non-Monogamy.

What we mean by "organic" is that we do not buy membership lists, nor do we "share" membership lists with any other non-poly site. People who are here have registered to be here.

Are you ready to meet others just like yourself? Register here to create a free profile.

If you choose to register with PMM, you will become a "Standard Member" and be able to search our membership database, view who has looked at your profile, save favorites, send internal PMM 'pokes', and check out our active forums.

"Premium Membership" affords you all of the items mentioned as well as full access to Instant Messenger, Single/Two-player games to break the ice, live chatrooms, and internal PMM mail to other members.

For a complete description of levels of membership, please see Compare Plans.

Again, welcome to; the perfect place to find your poly mate(s).

Polyamory is, simply put, the capacity to love many. brings together all kinds of people from around the world in a web community setting.

Not only do we provide a tasteful adult environment; bringing people together for love, friendship, learning, support, and camaraderie... we are also a resource for learning about Polyamory in its many forms and nuances. The practice of Polyamory can be as unique as each of us are. PMM supports all styles, all people.

At PMM, we welcome:

  • Androgynous
  • Asexual
  • Bisexual
  • Bigender
  • Genderqueer
  • Heterosexual
  • Homosexual
  • Intergender
  • Pansexual
  • Polysexual
  • Queer
  • Straight
  • Third Gender
  • Transgender
  • Poly-friendly/curious
  • Or Any other Combination
PolyMatchMaker News

Title: Have you forgotten how to date?
By Abbie Masse on Saturday July 05, 2014

All too often I receive PMM mail from members complaining that they are not getting the responses that they want. I have some tough news for you - it could be you!

Think about what you say or don't say within your bio/description.

Bad Bio Phrases
Phrases in bios that display a sense of entitlement and may put-off a reader/potential partner:
A. "You must be..."

B. "Will not settle for less than..."

C. "You must love... (enter people/things here)"

Change these absolutes. Life is not black and white, especially in this day and age.

Who the heck are you?? Why are you interesting??
Not taking the time to write about who you are and what you can offer a potential mate displays a lack of willingness to put yourself fully into seeking a partner. Why not discuss your hobbies or dreams or goals? They add to your mystique and may intrigue a reader!

OMG your bio/description is to long
Bios and descriptions are NOT blogs! Please don't use them as such because the average member will lose interest fast. Though you may be a writer, poet, or just really, really friendly, most members would like to sum you up in 500 characters per section or less. Below is a really good example of a good description.

Good description
"Hi, I'm a 37 year old blonde with brown eyes who is seeking a LTR. I'd like to actually date potential partners before getting into anything serious to see if there is potential for a long term relationship. I enjoy sci-fi, evenings, playing Rob Zombie rather loudly in my car, and treat my 2 small dogs as children. It is important to note that I am not religious but do not mind discussing theology. I have a wonderful career and would like my partners to have goals and a stable source of income as financial security is important to me." (441 characters)

PMM Mail and general contact
Use PMM email to mention that you are interested in talking, and try not to look DESPERATE.

What do I mean by desperate? "Hi, I am (name) and I like you, here is my phone number / email address, we should talk now!"


Does that work for you? This is not a bar!

Most people would consider that type of initial correspondence rude, pushy, desperate, and unsettling. If you use PolyMatchMaker mail, make the most out of it by taking your time to see if you are compatible with your intended interest. Try not to engage in long lists of questionnaires with hopes that someone with whom you don't know would want to take time out of their day to answer them. Remember the name of this article: "Did you forget how to date?". Take your time! You have it. Get to know someone. Find out if your interests match before the mega questions, the personal email addresses, the phone numbers. This is not a bar. This is, however, the best place to meet like-minded people who believe in ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, and honest open-relationships.

So, you've made it this far and all I have mentioned is what not to do when it comes to searching for new partners. This is what you could do.

A. Be positive in your bio and description

B. Poke people you are interested in to see if there is interest back. You will not know until you try! It's a button for goodness sake!

C. Engage members in meaningful ways that are not pushy or desperate in nature. Ask them about their day, what they are reading, what their career goals are, or what their highest score was on their favorite video game

D. PMM mail your interest in the morning, just to say hi and wish them a good day and again in the evening.

These are easy examples of courting your intended, not pushing them into a corner where you are then forever deemed desperate, creepy, or a troll.

Just like dating in the "real-world", take it slow, don't be aggressive, be loving and supportive and... date again.

As always - love to you all!

Abbie Masse

View Archive

Live Chat Topics

TOPIC = Coming out an ethical-non monogamist. How does one do it? Should I? How did you? (See below)


Sunday Night Live Chat topic for Sunday, July 13th, 2014 is oming out an ethical-non monogamist. How does one do it? Should I? How did you?

Standard Sunday Night Live Chat Starts at 5pm Pacific/8pm Eastern

Who have you missed because you haven't tried PMM's Instant Messenger and Chat features? Meet on IM and get to know others just like you! "

Look for the blue live chat room bar at the bottom of your screen once you have logged in to your account.

Premium Membership is required to see the chat bar as well as enter live chat